What Not To Wear: Swim Meet Fashion Edition

What Not To Wear: Swim Meet Fashion Edition

When attending swim meets, considerations need to be given to what kind of clothing to wear to them. Just as one would not wear sweatpants to a masquerade ball, neither would you wear certain items as swim meet fashion, so as to be in the style of swim meets, stay comfortable and preserve perfectly good wardrobe elements. To this end, the Splashfather presents his edition of ‘What Not to Wear':

Too Hot sweater

Wool? You are going to melt…literally.

Hot mess:

Nothing identifies a meet rookie more than wearing anything even remotely warm to a swim meet. Remember that the pool is generally heated, particularly in the winter, so chilly is not generally a word used to describe the pool stands environment. If you are looking for a method of sweathouse-induced weight loss, a fleece hoodie or angora sweater is a wise choice. But if you are trying to avoid being soaked to the bone in sweat like a sinner in church by the end of the session, leave the arctic weather gear behind.

$350 shoes swim meet fashion

$339 Italian loafers? Not on the pool deck.

Foot Paux:

If you will be doing nothing but sitting in the stands, then your footwear choice is of no consequence. If you will be timing, however, selecting the proper shoes is critical. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal while the 8&Unders are swimming, but eventually if you are timing in a 13&Up event, your feet will get the equivalent of a mini-Tsunami’s worth of water splashed on them. So leave the $150 Eddie Bauer bucks at home, and opt for the hiker’s sandals or crummy pair of tennis shoes (or any other pair of shoes you could care less if they got ruined from getting totally soaked)

Humidity enhanced hair

Is my hair getting frizzy?

Whacked out Waves:

I’m not sure hairstyle fits in the category of what not to wear or swim meet fashion, but I’m sure the fashion critics don’t hesitate to rip up celebrities for their coifed locks as much as their garment selections. Here is the pool climate in most aquatic centers: too hot with about 105% humidity. Does that sound like conditions where you should go and have your hair done the day prior? I don’t think so. God help you if you have natural curly hair, because the pool can transform your doo from Gisele Bundchen to Captain Caveman in about 10 minutes flat. For most of the ladies, ball caps and ponytails rule the pool. For the guys, let’s be serious, you think about your hair about 4 minutes a year.

 Dress the Part:

Swim Dad Only BecauseCreate my shop visualFollow me Swim Mom I’m not sure if this really counts, no one is going to ride you for your actual shirt selection or message, unless that message is “I used to be Micheal Phelps, but then I got high”. Or “My Milkshake brings out all the Boyz in the Yard.”  We’re at a youth sporting event, so let’s keep it clean, Richard Pryor. But you may want to get with the sport by picking up a shirt your team offers, or maybe a branded shirt with a swim related message, such as one from ChlorineGear. Or create your own custom shirt using your team’s digital logo at an online shirt merchant like MyLocker.net.

Stay Out of Uniform:

swim meet fashion

Excuse me, can you tell me why my kid DQ’d?

If there’s one outfit combination you absolutely HAVE to stay away from, it’s wearing a plain white colored polo top, with a pair of plain Navy shorts. Unless you like to be asked 59 times over the course of the meet if you working today as an official, because that’s what every stroke and turn judge and referee will be wearing. Picture wearing a royal blue shirt and khakis into a Best Buy. ‘Nuff said. Got any recent observations at a meet where you saw something with that was completely incompatiblewith or inappropriate for swim meet fashion? Add your experiences in our comments section below. If you found this article funny or helpful, you can share using the buttons below as well. MAY THE TIMECLOCK BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR The Splashfather

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